Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She announced her abortion via fbk
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
