How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
