i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize