Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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