i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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