Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
