it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
