Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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