hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just pee around me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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