so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
