you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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