I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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