So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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