I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
