I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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