ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
