Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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