so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
