i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize