Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
