To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
