Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
