I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
