Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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