also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
