How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Bring me that man meat
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
