Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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