so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
