How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I want to make a zoo with you.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
