I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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