Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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