Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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