what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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