So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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