I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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