Pappa wants mamma naked
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You can't just leave with hair like that
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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