so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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