hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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