Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize