I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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