When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
