I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
