The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize