I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The power of my boobs compel you
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize