Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
