i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Randomize
