cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
