its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
