Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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