I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
