How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
