Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
