honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
