i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize