I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize