Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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