I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
