Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
