well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
