His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He has the fingertips of a God
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