Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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