The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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