she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My vagina just recognized that song.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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