she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
