sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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