I look better un-naked...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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