I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
