Fuck appropriateness.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
