she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
