Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
