Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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