I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My ATM looks so different sober.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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