He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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