He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
