You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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