nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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