also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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