I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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