I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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