Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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