no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
