if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
bring money and cleavage
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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