C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
