Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
