Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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