whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
